A crazy little thing called love!

A new internet scam is wrecking your chance of love online; Kieran Watkins looks more into the problems facing online dating sites (article written for The University of Kent Centre for Journalism)

Depressed, lonely and empty; just some of the feelings many single people will be feeling this Valentines. As we cry into our pillows, devour our way through the chocolate aisle of Asda and contemplate reaching for a kitchen knife, one simple solution to our desolate lifestyles is just a few clicks away.

Yes, internet dating. In the last ten years the virtual Blind Date has become so popular that it is believed to generate up to £2billion to the global economy. With one in five relationships being formed online, sites such as match.com and eharmony.co.uk have proved popular for single Brits as we search for the perfect guy or girl to fall in love with.

But behind your loved-up computer screen lies a growing international problem, one which threatens to ruin any romance you thought you might have, and take your money and possessions with it.

The rise of online scammers on internet dating sites has sparked fresh concerns about the dangers of using internet chat rooms online, as more people become victims to online scammers.

“I’ve lost everything”, says Amy Champion, 33, from Winchester, Hampshire. She lost all her money when she was targeted by a scammer through a dating site.

“He, if it was ever a he, posed as a businessman living in London. His photo was of a dark, handsome man in a suit. I guess you could say it was love at first sight.

“We hit it off instantly, and chatted all the time. We messaged privately and on Facebook, he never gave me his number.

“After a few weeks, we arranged to meet up, but he said he had no money at the moment because he had just invested in a new business.

“Despite only knowing him for a short while, I felt like I could trust him, so sent my bank details over to him so that he could book a train ticket to visit me.”

For Amy, it was the last time she heard from Michael, 42, who described himself as ‘a relaxed, funny guy looking to start a relationship.’ But although Amy failed to hear from Mark, he left a lasting memory that will haunt her life forever.

“He took my bank details and transferred all my money over to his account. Everything was gone. I went from being madly in love to broken-hearted and penniless.”

Amy’s story is not uncommon. Research by Leicester University in 2012 estimated that 230,000 Britons had been targeted by conmen, who target vulnerable adults in to giving them their bank details.

The conmen are usually based overseas, and start by targeting their victim by posing as an innocent single man or woman, usually using an alias formed around a picture of somebody else and taken from a social-networking site.

They then start talking to victims, usually through private messaging services, forming a relationship with the online dater over several weeks before flying over to meet the loved one. At this point, they then make up a story about being denied a visa, requesting that money and the person’s bank details be sent over so they can finally meet.

But you never do meet each other. In fact, whilst you queue up at arrivals in Heathrow, the potential love of your life is splashing your cash at your expense.

And it’s an expensive game. More than £37 billion is estimated to have been stolen by online scammers in the UK alone, and with police unable to prevent or track down the scammers, the problem is one which is deteriorating rapidly.

“Scammers come in droves, and they’re very aggressive”, explains internet consultant Mark Brooks, from Online Personals Watch.

“I would strongly advise talking to someone on the phone before meeting them.”

One woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, lost £50,000 to £60,000 after sending her personal bank details to her lover, whom she had been in contact with for more than a year.

But despite losing the money, she says that she “forgives him” for what he has done.

“I’ve formed a relationship with him, even if it is online. I love him and I can’t wait to finally meet him one day.”

In the majority of cases, police and the dating websites are unable to locate the villains behind the crime, meaning many of the victims are without justice as well as no money.

Despite the concerns, the Office of National Statistics has recently added online dating to its basket of goods and services to calculate UK inflation rates.

But some councils in England remain unconvinced about the benefits of online dating, and have taken it on themselves to warn the public about being misled online.

Medway Council has launched a new campaign to coincide with Valentines’ Day, to help raise awareness about the growing problem with online scammers.

The council’s Trading Standards team have provided a set of guidelines for members of the public to read and follow when setting up their own profiles online, which include warnings to never give out personal details and be suspicious of a request for financial help.

Councillor Mike O’Brien, Medway Council’s Portfolio Holder for Community Safety and Customer Contact said: “Locally we have probably a minimum of a dozen reports a year from people who have been conned via dating agencies.

“These range from bogus dating agencies who promise ‘matches’ and then disappear without any introductions with the memberships fees to the extreme detailed in the press release of people handing over thousands of pounds to bogus people who they believe they are in love with.

“It really is pernicious and as usual exploits people at their weakest point, in this case emotionally.”

So as you mop up your tears and watch yet another Richard Curtis film this Valentines, think to yourself; maybe it is better to be single, because signing yourself up to an online dating site could ruin your life forever.

Medway Council’s Trading Standards teams’ six steps to staying safe:

1. Only use well-known, reputable online dating agencies
2. Always be sceptical and if you are asked for any type of financial help be extremely suspicious
3. Be careful when going on a date and always try and meet someone who lives locally
4. Never give out any personal details
5. Be extra careful of anyone using PO Box addresses or telephone numbers that are never answered
6. If your online date only ever talks about themselves and never actually answers your questions it could be because they are only sending a standard email to hundreds of other people

IVF: is the treatment selfish, irresponsible and damaging?

I was alarmed at recent statistics released by the government this week that showed a huge rise in the number of single women and lesbian couples receiving fertility treatment, more commonly known as IVF.

According to the new figures by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, in 2010 1,571 women received the treatment, a quadruple rise in the number of mothers when compared to only 350 single women in 2007.

The number of lesbian women also seeking treatment has also doubled, from 178 to 417, compared to a rise of just 18% for heterosexual couples.

Without a doubt, IVF has made a huge difference to the many women who have tried and failed to conceive, with IVF giving women a lifeline in their quest for motherhood. It's expensive, but obviously the benefits are priceless when you're handed your new son or daughter some 9 months later.

But my problem isn't with the treatment, it's with the reasons behind it. With these figures in mind, it suggests that women are deliberately choosing the right to care for their child without any help from a 'father figure.'

For me, this is a completely selfish, damaging and irresponsible thing to even consider, let alone do. We've seen the documentaries on 'Broken Britain', we all know the facts that if a child is raised fatherless, they're likely to suffer in later life.

How would you feel, as a mother who was the sole parent of a child, if your 'baby' ended up a drug addict, with no job prospects, no qualifications and his own family to care for? Well, we've all seen it on Jeremy Kyle haven't we.

So what reasons could you have for wanting to bring up a child without a father? I sympathise with Lesbian couples, at least you're getting two role models for your child, but single mothers making the choice to bring up their child on their own, how can you justify your actions?

The fault, it seems, can be traced to the government. When the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act in 2008 removed the requirement for clinics to take into account the child's need for a father-like figure, it gave women a clear path to have babies on their own without the need for a father figure to be present in the household.

Single mothers now have as much right to a child as couples, and although this may seem fairer, undercover documentaries featured on Panorama have also shown that single couples are benefited by bigger benefit handouts by councils, for example.

Is the government creating a climate which promotes single parenting and condones the traditional family? It's fair to say we are a growing community of independent and ambitious individuals, but risking tradition in favour for a minute number of women to start their own single family seems damaging for all parties involved, particularly the child, who is more than likely to suffer.

With religious groups angry with the recent findings, maybe the government should think again at the disturbing trends in Britain towards a 'fatherless society'.

Pictures courtesy of Wikipedia

Review of the Week: Alicia Keys 'The Element of Freedom'

I realise this album has been out for ages, but it deserves to have more recognition!

The Grammy Award Winning artists new album has been around for a few years now and with Number One hits like ‘New York’ featuring Jay-z, you might ask why an 18 year old boy would be interested in this album. Well, to tell you the truth, I fancied a change. With the ever changing beats of today’s Top 40 - your Cheryl ‘I can’t sing’ Cole to N - ‘We’re cool, yeh’ Dubz’ it’s hard to find something ‘easy listening.’

However “The Element of Freedom” is just that. Keys inevitably delivers to us a strong, recognisable voice whose lyrics are just as important as the glitzy videos or a-list collaborations (husband and wife team Beyonce and Jay-z both feature). ‘New York’ was for me one of the best songs of 2010, with both versions (with and without Jay Z) being performed brilliantly. So much so that I called up the local radio to find out who was singing to ‘concrete jungle where dreams are made of.’

Other hits including ‘Doesn’t Mean Anything’ and ‘This Bed’ see Keys mixing into pop, the popular genre of many a music listener. Moreover, she does it beautifully. With her amazing credentials, that being her talent not only to sing and look good, but to play the piano masterfully, the songs only add to the excitement as the notes smoothly glide through your ears.
Personally, my favourite songs are where Keys takes a step back from the “pop” stereotype and creates a unique hybrid of genres. In ‘Try sleeping with a broken heart’, the piano is replaced with a strong, powerful drumbeat that echoes the narrative of the lyrics. Her live performances regularly prove a talking point. Another hybrid, the clash of ‘diva’ to put it in a male perspective, of seeing the R&B sensations Beyonce and Alicia dueting was the finale of a truly great album.

As ever, Alicia Keys truly dominates the piano and crescendo that cultivates into another outstanding album. Her musicality is amazing and inspiring to music lovers everywhere who long to find that place ‘where dreams are made of.’ For me, Keys has found that place.

Best Song: Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart

Rating: 5/5 Stars

Article Written by Kieran Watkins

Picture Courtesy of Wikipedia

How to smell a rat on the first date

Forget the day of love, lust and happiness we saw waft into our lives yesterday, like a bad smell. Valentines; besides the copious amounts of glossy cards, wilting bouquets and last-minute dinners is just like any ordinary day. What is to say it is going to be the right time for a first date?

We all know the first date is supposed to be romantic. Whether it be a meal and a night out at the cinema, or a picnic in the park; it is the perfect chance to get to know a boy better. But what if he is not interested? How do you tell if he has put the effort into making the perfect first impression? Here is my guide, from a boy who has done all of the below and failed at winning a girl over, on how to ditch the guy who is not interested.

If his idea of a restaurant means a meal in McDonalds.
So he has just paid for you at the cinema, and he is a bit strapped for cash. Where does he take you, McDonalds? Classy right? No. Who wants to stare into their potential bf’s eyes over a Big Mac and fries? If he cannot afford to buy you a nice meal now, imagine the next date. Ditch him.

If he uses a voucher code to pay for the meal.
Ok, so if he takes you to a fancy meal at a Gordon Ramsey restaurant, it might be acceptable. But if he has you picking from a set menu at Pizza Express because it’s 2 for £10, he obviously has no money. Forget it.

If he takes you out on a Wednesday.
What’s wrong with Wednesday right? Wrong, Wednesday is Orange Wednesday. In other words, it means cheap cinema tickets and food that will keep his balance in check. In other words, he is a cheapskate. Dump him.

If he wears trainers and trackies to a date.
Imagine the pain and stress you have put into choosing your outfit, to find he has shown up in a Lonsdale tracksuit and a pair of Reebok classics. Do you really want to be seen around with that on your arm? Chuck him.

If he uses his mobile during the date.
If it’s an emergency, then of course it is acceptable. But if it is to poke a friend or tweet about the gorgeous girl sitting across from him, it is rude. It means he is bored of you. Call it off.

If he starts talking about his ex.
So you sit there talking about your life, struggling to stay conscious as you stare in to his dreamy eyes. Then suddenly the moment is ruined as he pours his heart out about his ex. If he even mentions her name, it means he is not over her. Lose him.

If he expects more than a kiss on the checkIf he is a decent, caring bloke he will know not to tread the line and simply kiss you on the cheek, and arrange a second date. But if he asks to walk you home, or goes in for the kill, he only wants one thing. And it is not to see your Justin Beiber album collection. End it.

Picture courtesy of Wikipedia