Wednesday 15 February 2012

How to smell a rat on the first date

Forget the day of love, lust and happiness we saw waft into our lives yesterday, like a bad smell. Valentines; besides the copious amounts of glossy cards, wilting bouquets and last-minute dinners is just like any ordinary day. What is to say it is going to be the right time for a first date?

We all know the first date is supposed to be romantic. Whether it be a meal and a night out at the cinema, or a picnic in the park; it is the perfect chance to get to know a boy better. But what if he is not interested? How do you tell if he has put the effort into making the perfect first impression? Here is my guide, from a boy who has done all of the below and failed at winning a girl over, on how to ditch the guy who is not interested.

If his idea of a restaurant means a meal in McDonalds.
So he has just paid for you at the cinema, and he is a bit strapped for cash. Where does he take you, McDonalds? Classy right? No. Who wants to stare into their potential bf’s eyes over a Big Mac and fries? If he cannot afford to buy you a nice meal now, imagine the next date. Ditch him.

If he uses a voucher code to pay for the meal.
Ok, so if he takes you to a fancy meal at a Gordon Ramsey restaurant, it might be acceptable. But if he has you picking from a set menu at Pizza Express because it’s 2 for £10, he obviously has no money. Forget it.

If he takes you out on a Wednesday.
What’s wrong with Wednesday right? Wrong, Wednesday is Orange Wednesday. In other words, it means cheap cinema tickets and food that will keep his balance in check. In other words, he is a cheapskate. Dump him.

If he wears trainers and trackies to a date.
Imagine the pain and stress you have put into choosing your outfit, to find he has shown up in a Lonsdale tracksuit and a pair of Reebok classics. Do you really want to be seen around with that on your arm? Chuck him.

If he uses his mobile during the date.
If it’s an emergency, then of course it is acceptable. But if it is to poke a friend or tweet about the gorgeous girl sitting across from him, it is rude. It means he is bored of you. Call it off.

If he starts talking about his ex.
So you sit there talking about your life, struggling to stay conscious as you stare in to his dreamy eyes. Then suddenly the moment is ruined as he pours his heart out about his ex. If he even mentions her name, it means he is not over her. Lose him.

If he expects more than a kiss on the checkIf he is a decent, caring bloke he will know not to tread the line and simply kiss you on the cheek, and arrange a second date. But if he asks to walk you home, or goes in for the kill, he only wants one thing. And it is not to see your Justin Beiber album collection. End it.

Picture courtesy of Wikipedia

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